SOUL ON FIRE

For the past few weeks I have been immersed in the process of building a new understanding of my Self in this world. There have been so many changes and negative events pervading our media and psyche that I felt it necessary to delve deeper into my own Mind to find a peaceful space to rest.

Synchronistically, I was invited to join a Black Consciousness group and was reintroduced to the spiritual material that had served, in part, to facilitate my own awakening. I was not prepared for the emergence of old wounds as I re-engaged this learning and sharing with the community.

I think what I am realizing, through new eyes, is that we are all in different places in our spiritual development and path. When I willingly began this journey, I felt so unsure about my beliefs and understanding. Some of the teachings were confusing and contradicted one another but were all espoused as “truth”. I would shame myself for misunderstanding, but never gave up on finding the TRUTH some of which came from religious and spiritual texts I would have NEVER allowed myself to examine prior to “opening the way” for new information. I wanted better answers than I had received through my secondary and college educations, church and mentors.

15 years and LOTS of reading, researching and reintegrating history was useful in allowing me to finally create a space in my mind and heart for the acceptance of things that I was taught we not for me (or rejection of ideas/teachings that I realized were not). Each answer encouraged another question, and answer, and question and so on. Mis-Education disempowers because we tend to believe only what has been proven (someone has done it before) and in the absence of “truth” we do not allow ourselves to believe  we have power to change or create new understand, situations and LIVES. I am never beyond learning, but am beyond arguing facts because I have learned enough to understand where I came from and what I am capable of HERE and NOW in this world which is much more significant to taking ACTION.

As a woman of both African and Native American descent raised in the SouthEast, I was taught that I had little power. The things that felt right for me, intuitively, were described as sinful or blasphemous. The result of choosing to question (without faith) or pursue another path would result in eternal damnation .. Hell Fire, Brimstone. “God forbid” I burn for eternity. I could not fathom the idea and remained in fear.

It has not been an easy journey. It has required a LOT of healing, a LOT of introspection and a LOT of building around the questions I held deep inside. Things just didn’t make sense and I needed to know why.

In the process I learned that

I Am spiritual,
I Am intuitive,
I Am powerful,
I Am magical,
I Am sensual,
I Am the Divine manifested in human form
I Am connected to the Universe in cosmic ways
I Am a GODDESS!

...and the wisdom I have gained in the process can never be taken from me. I work diligently to protect myself from negative energy/ideas/images that reinforce complacency and ignorance. I focus my energy/attention on the things I want to co-create/manifest in this world for myself, my family, my people.

Knowledge of history, “the TRUTH”, of who we have been is the beginning… but WISDOM comes from knowing Who We Are

I have become a Soul On Fire, the embodiment of LOVE and I am ready to be a light unto the world.

Ase.Selah ღ
Acu

Read more »

Living Without Sin

Song of the Moment: Love Will Save The Day feat. Miss Modest by JD73

A stunning portrait crossed my feed yesterday that inspired me to write tonight. This is an example of the alchemy of the Self, digitally. I logged on, had the most amazing photography cross my feed and as I allowed myself to be absorbed into its artistry... symbols, ideas and inspiration began to emerge. 

I contacted Giselle, who is a model in-world and had the portrait done to reflect overcoming a difficult time in her life. She said to me as I inquired about it: “I had this photo made because even when my life was turned upside down I never missed my mark and push(ed) forward in spite of.” It was captured brilliantly as it is the feeling engendered in me when I saw it.

"The Foot Archer" used with permission
Giselle Chauveau Moore (http://gisellechauveau.wordpress.com/)

I reached out to Giselle because the symbolism of the piece is exceptional. I explained to her that few know that literally the word “sin” is an archery term that means "missing the mark.” I continued, that the term as originally used in a Christian context means we that we have not understood what our focus should be placed upon. Forgiveness is about accepting that you have gone in the wrong direction and are choosing another path. 

Additionally, the "Passion" of Christ is also symbolized in some other forms of spirituality as a man hanged upside down. It is a releasing of the ego to allow something more Divine to take the lead. It symbolically means "the destruction of self brings life to humanity"

My inspiration was further guided tonight by a discussion with my in-world son, who came to me faced with being challenged in RL about his faith and lifestyle. He began questioning himself and as with most of us, questions of morality, guilt and shame were present. He usually comes to me at times like these and I am always happy to be a non-judgemental witness to his growth. I listened and responded:

“I can't tell you how to live your faith. It is a journey you walk alone. You have to come to your own understanding and become "a law unto yourself.” There are many interpretations of the bible. If you go to the Bible Gateway website, there are no less than 15 versions of it. You must also consider there are MANY MANY other religions and even more, "non-religions" all based upon faith. Morality resides within you, because even you will interpret whatever you read or hear in your own way based upon where you are in your life. Religion should be a guide, however, if YOU believe something in your life is "wrong" and feel shame, then you MUST examine it and then make a decision about it. No one can live your life but you. Noone will be accountable for YOUR decisions but YOU! Often people want to guide you to their way of living because you are making them uncomfortable within THEIR own faith, but you have no control over that.”

I then asked that he pray about it, decide and release it.

I would invite you to do the same as you move forward in your life. Empathy is guided not by religion, but our own inner compass as we experience and understand our lives and purpose. Happiness is God’s promise, but can only be evaluated by each of us in our own unique life experiences.

Allow yourself to hit the target… follow your bliss and live the life you have dreamed of.

Peace, Love and many Blessings 

xoxo

Acu

www.facebook.com/acuminousone

Read more »

The Art of Evolution (ChuckMatrix Clip)

I am always amazed by the creativity being in a virtual world can inspire. I logged on this afternoon and received a group notice about an art exhibition for an artist named Chuck M Clip who I had not heard of. The show is closing tonight (6/7/13) so I decided to read it through. I am SO glad I did. I stopped by before the party to view the works. The prim sculptures were so powerful, they brought tears to my eyes. Just amazing AMAZING stuff....

"Eve" by ChuckMatrix Clip

I "perved" Chuck's profile and discovered his gallery and again, I was overwhelmed by the emotions his 2D artwork and 3D sculptures engendered in me.  If you are able, stop by the gallery at 
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Funadama/95/77/31

...but at a minimum view the video ♥

Read more »

A Goddess...

A Goddess...

is a woman who emerges from deep within herself. She is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light. She is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her. She is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her, the sacred places that can nurture her soul and make her whole. She is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic. She walks into a room and male and female alike feel her presence. She has power and softness at the same time.

She has powerful sexual energy that's not dependent on physical looks. She has a body that she adores and it shows by the way she comfortably lives and moves in it. She cherishes beauty, light and love. She is a mother to all children. She flows with life in effortless grace. She can heal with a look or a touch of the hand. She is fiercely sensual and fearlessly erotic and engages in sex as her way to share with another in touching the divine. She is compassion and wisdom. She is seeker of Truth and cares deeply about something bigger than herself.

She is a woman who knows that her purpose in life is to reach higher and rule with love. She is woman in love with love. She knows that joy is her destiny and embracing it and sharing it with others to heal wounds.

She is a woman who has come to know that her partner is as tender, lost, and frightened as she has been at times. She has come to understand the scars of the boy in him and knows that together, love can be the relief, the healing of their wounds.

She is a woman who can accept herself as she is. She can accept another as they are. She is able to forgive her mistakes and not feel threatened by another's even when attacked. She is a woman who can ask for help when she needs it or give help when asked. She respects boundaries, hers and another's. She can see God in another's eyes. She can see God in her own. She can see God in every life situation. She is woman who takes responsibility for everything she creates in her life. She is a woman who is totally supportive and giving.

She is a Goddess"...♥"

Listen... 
Raheen DeVaughn - "Woman"

Read more »

Living In Fearless Emotion (a poem)

Living In Fearless Emotion

Born from Divine Oneness

Seeking destiny

Human flesh makes tangible

Infinity…

The reality of life

And its guarantee

Is that each day

Will be filled with uncertainty

Sometimes we laugh

Sometimes we cry

Living In Fearless Emotion

We wonder “why?”

Every tear, on each face

Tastes the same

Doesn’t matter the difference

In color, place or name

Life’s test is to question

The things that we see

Although born from perfection

We’re part of life’s impurity

Divinely chosen existence

We experience vibration

hurt, joy, fear, pain

Live to feel each sensation

Walk life’s journey as our body grows old

Become Peace by piece

Mind

Body

Soul

© Acuminous Watanabe (2012)

Read more »

SL/RL Synthesis Note (47): "2012: The End?"

Welcome to 2012! Is this the end?

I knew it was coming. I got my first “store-some-water-and-food-the-end-is-coming-in-December” note from one of my in-world acquaintances. Let me get on top of this thing RIGHT NOW! (chuckles)

For the past year there has been a lot of hype around the end date of a 5,125-year-long Mayan calendar. December 21, 2012 is supposed to bring a huge occurrance. Spiritualist believe there will be a consciousness transformation and scholars believe the abuse of natural resources will come to a head in cataclysmic events. There are of course people who believe it’s all bogus and the biggest thing that will happen on 12/21/2012 is that the day will turn to night and when we awake, it will be December 22^nd.

Regardless of any of these possible outcomes and predictions, it is hard to ignore that SOMETHING is happening in our culture and world. Without a defined date, change IS occurring and I predict that big things ARE coming that will surely contribute to our evolution. Will it be the end of the world? I doubt it. The end of the world as we understand it now? Quite possibly!

I think people forget sometimes that things were not always the way they are now. There was a time when there was no Internet, no computers, no phones, no planes, no cars, and so on. We have been evolving for some time now, constantly creating and innovating ways to make our lives better. As our lives improve, our ideas become more complex, our brains develop more in line with the pace of our environment and culture.

Not a long time ago, it was unimaginable that millions worldwide could be in contact with each other simultaneously. We have access to more information, more PEOPLE than ever before in human existence. We no longer need the media or newspapers, as biased as they are, to inform us of what is going on in other parts of the world. Consuming information fed to us in a way that engenders fear and a craving for protection is becoming less the norm. Today with the Internet and social networking, we can easily join our hearts and minds in thoughtful, peaceful response to challenging world events. This can only facilitate a HUGE shift in our own ideas about ourselves and the collective whole of the world.

As I write this, I am listening to a news report of Obama’s signature on a defense bill that will regulate the detention, interrogation and prosecution of AMERICAN CITIZENS suspected of being terrorist. In essence ANYONE can be detained INDEFINATELY if suspected of terrorist involvement in the United States as of today, January 1, 2012. In an election year, this is surely a sign of more to come and the outcome of the election might contribute to a shift in SOMETHING as we are ending the year.

We all feel it. I hear over and over this increase in anxiety and a sense of frustration around the state of world affairs. People are asking different kinds of questions about religion and government and are positioning themselves to be heard and answered (see http://occupywallst.org/).  Living in fear is not natural to our bodies, there must be a balance between *growth* and *protection* to survive. Could it be that collectively we are seeking to evolve out of a social paradigm of fear, and that it is finally culminating at this time in our development as human beings? No more fear of world domination, obliteration, degradation, depreciation, segregation? That sounds AMAZING, but I digress from my Jesse Jackson moment. (grin)

I don’t believe any of it is worthy of fear. In contrast, confusion, doubt chaos and crisis, anger, despair and pain are all excellent conditions for growth. No one ever evolves when things are going GOOD. It is when we reach a place of discomfort that we seek necessary change to be at peace again. Collectively, we all seem to be ready for this as we begin a new year. 2012 presents a wonderful opportunity to move ourselves and our community toward something better than we have been in years past.

What is most important is that each person be open and receptive to looking at our own fears and inner darkness in a different light, and willing to SEEK the change desired. I will start with ME and act on those changes in my own life that will bring my heart more happiness and fulfillment. From there, I will work to make similar changes in my community and as one drop of water is part of the ocean, I will do my part to heal the world.

Are you ready to make that move too? If not now, when?   


With a gentle nudge of encouragement... :)
I love you XO
Acu

p.s. For more commentary on conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and New World order see Joining The Illuminati

Read more »

to LIVE (a poem)

Still in the darkness
I Am
Peace

A thought from within
To Be
Free to feel, to experience
To LIVE

In that moment awakened
I Am
Real
I wear the mask, a shell of my Self

Peace now pieces, the stillness forgotten
I birth
Duality

Living In Fearless Emotion
I feel the intangible
Perceive the imperceptible
Joy, pain
Courage, FEAR
Good and
EVIL, I LIVE

Until the darkness returns
The weakness underlying my strength
Transcendence
Brings sweet surrender
Each piece I re-collect
Remember
Remove the mask
and return…

by Acuminous (c) July 2009
written for the in-world Egbe Akowe Writing Group

Read more »

One Enchanted Moment (a poem)

It feels as though a lifetime has passed.

Broken, bent and beatten
Like a child in the wilderness,
I searched the tree tops and river banks,
brush and meadow
mountain and valley
pieces of me, longing for you.

Guided by voices,
My mind a map of words,
I turned left and turned right – holding my breath
Hoping that soon… just a bit farther
Your arms would be waiting.

The days, months, the years passed by
Time so fast, yet so still
The wilderness no longer wild,
Became my solitude.
i am one with it
 but still feel the longing and struggle on,
seeking your grace, your comfort
…to at last find you.

Now
engulfed by the monotony
My heart weary and filled with fear.
The screams of my mind remind me
…i am not yet worthy.
Thoughts shrouding secrets of my heart.

No longer able, full of resentment and disgust,
I fall to my knees and cry out to you—
my arms reach desperately,
As I stare into nothingness
 through tear soaked eyelids
and call your name

“LOVE…why do you forsake me?
  I surrender…please release me!”

I close my eyes,
pressing my warm face
to the cool, moist ground
and in that moment
I Am
Still

My heart is filled with
The secrets of trees’ whispers… “now, yes Now”
The hidden words of birds singing “Now, yes Now”
The quiet release of the rivers’ babbling “Now, Yes NOW”

Pieces now One,
I Am One
Peace.

written for the in-world Egbe Akowe Writing Group (c) July 2009

Read more »

Joining the Illuminati: ...on "One" Conspiracy

Let me begin by saying that as I offer my opinions about the veracity of the Illuminati, it is surely tainted by my own spiritual beliefs. I am not supposing that I am the end all be all on any subject and would never tell you what to think. I will however give you some things to think about and hope that if you are moved to strongly invest in ideas in favor of or against what you are about to read, that you will take the time to read or/and or listen to what is out there and come to your own opinion. Accepting what someone else has identified as “truth” is sort of what got us into this mess. We need to be more proactive in thinking for ourselves. With the access we have to people around the world , via the internet and social media, there is no reason to accept any one postulate as “truth.”

With that being said, let me add that I am what I am, with regard to spiritual beliefs, largely because of where I was born and raised. Any good sociological study (and some good old fashioned common sense) will confirm that people born in the United States are statistical likely to be Christians, as natives of India tend to be Hindus, and those of Saudi Arabia are typically Muslims. Although I claim no specific religious affiliation and enjoy learning from various teachings, inevitably, my Christian roots tend to serve as a foundation from which I make sense of most of what I have learned spiritually.

In a world where 30 years of oppressive rule can be brought down in 3 weeks, using social media and the internet (see overthrow of President Hosni Mubarak, January 2011), we are realizing that there is power in having control over how information is disseminated and are thus empowered to ask questions the answers to which might have previously been tremendously difficult to find. A similar phenomenon occurred when the Bible, (a text whose teachings had previously only been privileged to religious leaders who were then responsible for disseminating and teaching it to the masses in a manner dictated by the leaders of the time), was put into print for the lay person to read for themselves. It opened the door for new understanding, interpretation and MISinterpretation, at least to the degree it was written and then printed for mass consumption.

Centuries later, we all seem to be searching for new answers to our spiritual questions and understanding of the world and how we function in it.

Enter, the Illuminati.

Conspiracy theorists have speculated about secret orders and mystical control over the masses using a variety of means for centuries. Recently however, with speculations about the end of the world, One World Government and One World Religion people have become more receptive to the idea of  “inner workings” of some great group of ridiculously rich and powerful people who are using the media and control of the economy to corral the masses to live under their complete control. Their goal? Ruling the world with slavery and dictatorship. Proof given to validate these claims are “secret symbols” that once interpreted, demonstrate this villainous plan. Secondarily, several governmental leaders mentioning the words “New World Order” in their speeches solidify that their previously unseen plan for world domination has been exposed.

Let me pause for one moment to ask you to breath and think. If the symbolism is secret and you know about it and have an interpretation, is it still a secret? …and if these leaders, who are operating under some mysticism which will work to corral the masses have done so for centuries, did they somehow forget how to keep it secret all of a sudden? Alzhiemers maybe? (grins)

If you google “Illuminati” you will turn up all means of articles, blogs, videos, etc., that are prepared to inform and enlighten you about this New World Order. Not only that, but every successful celebrity or athlete is most certainly a part of the Illuminati, or that is what many of the posters would have you to believe. They have all “signed deals with the devil” but its no secret, because any recognizable international figure is part of the clan, at least according to your google results. 

With the break down of religion and questions about the nature of good and evil, could it be we are looking for something to be our new devil …to be our new dark? Every generation gets the evil monster it deserves based on the societal fears of the time. When we bring these “demons or conspirators” to the light, they often reveal our deepest fears and desires about everything from sex and death to celebrity, immortality and class warfare. As long as humans have fears to confront, we will find something “out there” onto which we may project those fears so that we can point at something other than what is really going on inside of us.

If you look long enough you will find the actually definition of the word “illuminati” as  (a group of ) “people claiming to possess special enlightenment or knowledge of something.” I would invite you to embrace THAT as a group worth being a part of. Not the influential intellectuals and progressive politicians of the current pop phenomenon, but part of a group of enlightened persons invested in the idea of Unity of mankind. After all, all humans are “people” but not all will buy into this idea as “true”. Besides, our world sure could use some new ordering. Its quite a mess! What if we could all coexist and accept one another as is, without the need to “change” anyone? What if we all embraced the one truth that we are much more the same than we are different, in our humanness, and in our belief in the existence of something great than ourselves operating within and around us (i.e., God, Spirit, Science, etc) ? What if we all lived cooperatively and in support of the physical, emotional, and spiritual growth of one another? If that process is guided by the truly enlightened or the true Illuminati, ...especially given the power to connect to people and share information… perhaps One government and One religion is something worth working toward…not fighting against.

…In the name of Unity... One Blood, One People, One God…

One Love :)

Acu

p.s. will this new proclamation of joining the  Illuminati add my signature to the increasing names popping up on google searches? If so, I hope it increase hits to my blog! I need to monetize that bad boy (chuckles)

Read more »

SL/RL Synthesis Note (42): "Going Home"

I can’t sleep. Its 5:30AM and my mind is racing so I decided I might as well get up. I have been restless since yesterday. I met someone, a very nice person who is reengaging after having left Second Life a few years ago. He had deleted his avatar at that time, appreciating that he “had to” because his “real life” depended upon it. Pretty drastic, but not unusual. Like so many others, the allure of this place called to him again and he is back, ready for a second round of immersion in this virtual space.

I meet lots of people, on regular basis. It’s one aspect of Second Life that I truly enjoy. I love people, and when I found the grid, I was at a point in my life when I had all but completely closed myself off to the world, relationally. I had begun to isolate myself having felt betrayed, unappreciated, unvalued….unloved.

Second Life seemed like Heaven. I could be anyone I wanted to be and hide behind my avatar. This prospect was exhilarating, because I’d lead such a “vanilla, appropriate, socially acceptable” life. I loved the idea of being and doing something else. Over the course of 2 years, I proceeded to explore every possible curiosity to include the darker, more repressed aspects of myself. I’d done the whole “squeaky clean thing” and my existence boiled to a head with me feeling like my life had no meaning. Over and over I met with my understanding about life and myself crossing new ideas and perceptions that challenged my understanding about what was good, bad, real or unreal. I became frustrated about some of those crossroads deciding that those who had guided me were delusive and had left out some really important stuff. I began to realize, everything that I understood as “bad” was not…only subjectively evaluated as such… although some things still, I decided really WERE bad *for me* but not necessarily for all.

I’ve formed some very intense relationships as a result of my life on the grid. Challenging judgments opened the way for me to allow people into my life, I might have avoided in the tangible world. Relationships are TREMENDOUSLY important in this process because it allows us to actually “test” these ideas about “being” via the reactions, experiences and connections we create with others while in this new skin. All relationships, of various kinds are important and we are drawn to them, in an almost hypnotic way, sometimes seeking the same painful experiences over and over trying to make sense of this urging we feel.

..and then in 2009, the wall came crumbling down and I realized that my second life was seeping into my first one and my core was rocked in a way, I can not explain. So I began asking different questions, and looking for others who felt the same. I needed to know I was not loosing my mind and that someone else knew exactly what it was I was talking about. …and a group of 500 members; a friends list of over 700 and nearly 100 live discussions later I realized this experience is prevalent and calling to many MANY people as technology and social networking evolves the way people of the world relate to one another.

People come to Second Life for a myriad of reasons…business, education, research…There is a special population of us, however, who are here to discover who we truly are. We are the residents… generally people who heard about Second Life somewhere in the media or via recounts of another resident fully immersed and were so intrigued by what we heard that we came to see for ourselves…and moved in.

As I reflect, I have redefined my understand of “purgatory” the place in Dante’s “Divine Comedy” between hell and paradise where the souls “purge” their thoughts and ideas about themselves and the way they lived their life. Most say it’s a place of punishment… but a deeper understanding reveals it is a place of purification… where a “burning off” of these thoughts allows the soul to become “free and pure” of those ideas that no longer serve it and over time guides the soul toward paradise…and paradise isn’t even “Heaven” the mystical place of golden streets and angels, eternal peace…as most religions describe… it is Eden… a place on EARTH where the soul continues its ascension toward something all encompassing but with a more “serving and meaningful” existence on the next plane.

This is the soul’s journey… one that happens for everyone over the course of a lifetime. The Internet, social networking and especially virtual worlds have provided a space where this process of liberation happens at a tremendously hyper rate… it is unprecedented…we are connecting, growing and exploring in a way never seen before.

I don’t know where this journey is leading me now, there is a new longing in my chest that is urging me to ask, and I wait patiently for an answer. Under every challenge is an opportunity to ask… the really hard question, and find redemption and release in the answer.

In less than a week I will be 40….40 years in the wilderness…I am asking…and praying for a renewal of my mind…and a place in Paradise.

Peace and blessings XO

Acu

Read more »

SL/RL Synthesis Note (40): "Surviving Hell's Fire"

Song of the Moment: “Thankful” by Meshell N‘degeocello

(Lyrics and Youtube Link Below)

There is a lyric from a favorite song of mine that says "…And hellfire's a promise away I'd still be saying…I'm still in love” The song is about a man who is in love with a woman who is already taken by another man. He sings of the joy this woman brings, but also expresses his tortured frustration that the “hands of fate” did not allow them to find each other first. He acknowledges that he knows this relationship is doomed, hence “hell’s fire”, but he is willing to risk it, to be with her, even if just for this time. Pretty romantic stuff…

I will probably get some flack, for saying this, but in my own spiritual belief, I don’t define Hell (or Heaven for that matter) as a place, but rather a state of being at various points in our lifetime. Hell is the consequence for SIN which I believe stands for “self inflicted nonsense” since being in hell is a personal experience based upon what I am thinking, doing and feeling. One of my favorite classic writings is Dante’s epic poem “The Divine Comedy”. The cantos from this work are often falsely attributed to the bible and used to “shame” practitioners away from certain behaviors. It should more accurately be seen as an allegory of the soul's journey towards God, or “Divine Peace”. The “Divine Comedy” is given credit for Christianity’s understanding of hell, purgatory and the seven deadly sins (or 7 roots of sinfulness). The origins can be traced back much farther than that…but that’s another note…. Anyway, purgatory is described as the place between heaven and hell where we are stuck in the “mind” of  sin… the place where thoughts lead to the actions which promise to bring us to Hell’s fire or deliver us into Heaven.

I have toyed with the idea of Second Life as my own purgatory. In the last few months, I have lost 3 people in SL who were very close and dear to me. The most devastating was very recent, (and probably the best for both of us), but is tremendously painful to grieve. Last night, I encountered this person off the grid, accidentally, and was devastated that I wasn’t even acknowledged. There were no words exchanged, (other than my genuine greeting and expression of love), so after the silence I was left only with my thoughts about what that lack of acknowledgement meant. I could have decided, it was a technical issue, but instead, I completely tanked resulting in an hour or so of grief stricken sorrow and self-doubt. It was hell… you can’t tell me that was not hell, although it was absent of the fire and brimstone I’d heard so much about in Sunday school. When I tried to decide what SINs I had committed (my mind to), I decided gluttony (over indulgence of anything to the point of waste) and sloth (failure to utilize one's talents and gifts) continue to keep me in this Hell like state.

I was initially attracted to Second Life for the social richness relationships provide here. The grid gives me access to people of different cultures, beliefs, lifestyles, ways of being, thinking and feelings that add to my experience in both lives when shared. The love, passion and grief developing those relationships offer me are unparalleled. However, being in two places at once has its benefits and consequences.

Freedom (and deliverance) from my Self Inflicted Nonsense, according to the poem, is marked by joy, courtesy, and service. Although Second life provides opportunities for all of these, the balance between gluttony and sloth versus temperance and diligence are challenging ones for me. It is EXCESS that turns something beautiful into something perverted and SIN-FULL. Balance will deliver me. I help HARD, I grieve HARD, I love HARD, as anyone who is close to me will attest too. I am so busy giving, though, that I am left empty, spent, feeling used…and wrapped in SIN.

It is equilibrium that I seek, faithful that it will provide space for me to RECEIVE in a reciprocal way so that all my relationships are able to grow in a healthy way. The feelings of happiness, disappointment, pleasure and pain that allow me to EXPERIECE life, in a way I never could in ONE place…country, state, city, neighborhood, house…and so more quickly than ever before, when “the student is ready, a teacher will arrive.” If the lesson is patience, he will force me to wait; if the lesson is faith she will leave me so that I am left wanting; if the lesson is peace, he will tear my world apart so that I am left only with those pieces that continue to serve me, allowing me to let go of those that don’t any longer. Relationships allow me to LIVE these ideals, to feel them, understand them and make use of these states of being in a way I could not learn, any other way.

As I grow, I endeavor to be grounded in reality, …but liberated virtually!

With Love XO

Acu

“Thankful” by Meshell N‘degeocello

Listen via YouTube HERE :-)

just wanna be happy

mother&*©#ers like fancy things

big houses,

big cars,

like movie stars

gotta have everything

numb myself to the suffering

just wanna be happy

and thankful

not just

try to get through

just wanna be happy,

thankful

not just

try to get through

should i lie

should i cheat

turn on my tv

tell me what i want,

what i need

i lose my faith sometimes

i lose my faith sometimes, yeah

so much suffering for

fancy cars,

big houses,

everything

i lose my faith sometimes

i lose my faith sometimes, yeah

just want to be happy

and thankful

not just

try to get through

just want to be happy

and thankful

just want to be happy

and thankful

try to get through

you're all i need

lay your burden down

ease my sadness

you're all i need

i lose my faith sometimes

i lose faith sometimes

just trying to get through

i lose faith sometimes

you're all i need

lay your burden down

i lose faith sometimes

you're all i need

i'm thankful

that i feel you

ease your sadness

you're all i need

lay your burden down

ease my sadness

you're all i need

lay my burden down

i laid my burden down.

Free Yale University Video Course on the Divine Comedy can be viewed here!

Read more »