Monday, October 18, 2010

Synthesis Note (37): "Ask"

Song of the Moment: “Ask” by Narissa Bond (lyrics below)

Last week was interesting. After a several months of being unmotivated to do much of anything, except sleep and game, I felt a renewed sense of worth early in the week with each thing I marked off my to do list. Prior days were not so great. Second Life is my fantasy land…place of ideals and dreams deferred… and the social interaction and relationships I have here give me such a sense of love and worth. The connections I have with friends, SL family and you (!! [wink]) generally, brings some relief from the pressures of my first life, but last weekend in particular, I could gain no satisfaction. When I’d log off and be reminded of all that was left undone, still demanding my attention, I would become overwhelmed with anxiety and all I wanted to do was sleep. In the mean time, the list of “to do’s” only grew larger as managing a career and a family with young children requires daily maintenance. One of my most fulfilling SL relationships had begun to break down, but the shift offered an opportunity to evaluate what it is I really need from it and began a process of exploring that within myself. I’ve got the “do unto others” thing down, but still struggle with always knowing what I’d have them “do unto me.” More often than not my obligations are the direct result of saying “yes,” which I suppose I still believe is the key to happiness and prosperity, at least ultimately. In some cases it has been, but in those occurrences where I said “yes” when I really wanted to say “no,” the effort required and self sacrifice willingly given, rarely outweighed any personal gain from the experience.

Last week, I calmly and patiently moved through tasks, with ease. I traveled to Kentucky last Wednesday and there were many things that needed to be done, prior to my flight…to escape to Second Life or any other unnecessary situation would leave my home and work lives in a mess for those who would be managing them for me. Knowing I had a relatively short time to accomplish all of this, I was forced to ask for help, from anyone who stood near me for longer than 3 seconds. (grin) I found that most people were more than willing to help. Most people DO want to help, but are never asked. I never ask because I fear hearing “No” and sometimes I would rationalize that it would be easier and quicker to get it done myself. When I was younger, this was probably so, but as I’ve grown older and my responsibilities have grown greater, I realize I can not do it all myself… especially if I keep saying “yes.”

I was sitting in the nail salon, one of those few occasions when I can’t type or talk on the phone and just closed my eyes to think. My mind began to run through my TO DO list and I could feel myself becoming anxious despite the awesome sensation of having my feet pampered. I also started to feel resentful that people had not offered to help me with this or that, and as a result I must rush tirelessly to complete the list…some of the items related to a “yes” or two I had given someone else. Then from what seemed like nowhere my thoughts were interrupted with one word “Ask!” I was startled at first, and then smiled. “Sure… ASK!” I thought to myself. “People sure do a good job of asking ME, why am I so resistant to doing the same?” This single question opened a Pandora’s box of questions and answers that allowed me to do some real self reflection. It was refreshing to realize that playing victim really wasn’t serving my life very well, especially because people ARE willing to help …. but only if  you ASK them, since the majority of people are not mind readers (grin)

So I invite you to join me on this journey of self exploration by asking what is it you have not been asking for, and why NOT? I’d like to believe we all do this on some level and that it not only prevents us from having the life that we want, but discounts the gifts others have and are willing to share.

I would love to hear about what things you will now begin to ask for, and what happens as a result… hoping you’ll say “Yes!” (smile)

With love and gratitude…

p.s. I am a HUGE fan of Narissa Bond, a local artist who performs at my church and other local venues often. She has 3 CDS, but Between Two Rivers is my absolutely favorite. It has brought me through some very difficult times. Check her out at or iTunes.

“Ask” by Narissa Bond

Stand at the river
Raise your head to the sky
Ask me for the answers
They will come by and by
If you don’t have the words
Say what’s in your heart
Hold your hands high to the sky
I will place them in your palms

You are worthy
and I love you
You are priceless
I’ll help you
Find your truth
Just Ask
Just Ask

Stand at the river
With diligence and grace
Feel the power of all that surrounds you
and give thanks give thanks
If you can’t find the answers
Wait to receive
I Am always here, so
Always Believe


Stand at the river
Feel the sky all around
Look beyond the river
and smile
and smile
Raise your face to the sun
See how it cuts through the grey
With the warm of loves power
Feel the power of my grace


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