Sunday, September 21, 2008

SL/RL Synthesis Note (20): "What HAPPINESS is NOT..."

Originally Posted: 09/21/2008

Song of the Moment: "If I Need To Move On (Sometimes)" by Ladybug Mecca (lyrics below)

The past couple of weeks have been challenging. Thank you to those closest to me, who have expressed genuine care and concern around my disconnect in SL and RL.  There are times in your life when you have to learn to let go of the old to make room for something new. As persistent as I have been in following the path to something greater than myself, my faith has been tested more in the past month than ever before. A stand off between me and my faith ensued, when I questioned the point of it all. To hell with all this metaphysical, conceive~>believe~>achieve bullshit, I want the red pill to go back to sleep in physical reality and to enjoy the feel good damn it! (even if only in temporary spurts) This self-exploration crap is HARD! ...and then in a moment of painful silence, my heart, mind and soul in full chorus yelled "STOP!" ...and so I did...everything, every person, place and thing -- a non issue. I became totally SELFish for a moment... and you know what? It felt great!

The best thing about falling apart, is that you can then chose to pick up only the pieces you want. This pause allowed me to really examine my happiness (or lack thereof). The term is so vague…almost cliché'. People always talk about it, but when you try to nail down exactly what it is that would have it manifest in people's lives, folks never seem to be really certain. For me (and others I suspect), happiness isn't about *not* being sad. Happiness and sadness are the same side of one coin, which is why we can cry even when happy about something. The converse of happiness is BOREDOM, not feeling sad.

My struggle with staying in or leaving SL, for example, is about apathy.  When things are going well in RL, the urge to log on is never as great as when things are going badly. In SL, I can do, be, see ALL the things inaccessible to me in my busy, demanding and sometimes apathetic RL. There is a level of excitement, and anticipation that comes with being immersed here. The relationships are rich with twists and turns that send my adrenaline racing. The experiences allow me to create (and recreate) situations that help validate the possibility of those things I thought fantastic. Acu's formula: If SL =3D Imagination, RL=4D Manifestation.

Step ONE, however, to making this happen... is you…
Understanding your significance, your strength, and power...
    and sometimes you have to carry a load and then lay  it down understand your strength  (and weaknesses). Its our strengths and the pursuit of their development that make life worth living and the weaknesses that keep us connected to one another...for where I am weak and you are strong, in love, we can grow together.  No (wo)man is an island and like pieces of a puzzle we are destined to shift and move toward creating the whole.

Second Life isn't a panacea for happiness... but can be a template for living...find what excites you…makes you feel truly ALIVE (aside from what society has told you). If lived in love and connection... BLISS is yours!

Bless XOXO

 "If I Need To Move On (Sometimes)" by Ladybug Mecca
 At times we gotta stop
 and smell the cool breeze (yeah)
Gotta slow it down
 and spend time with the seeds
Sometimes we just need to sit still
 and master our breath like a monk in Tibet (well)
Sometimes I feel the need to cry
 to release the fear through my tears (and keep it moving cuz')
I like to travel and I know how to move on
  If I need to move on

You cannot hold onto the river when it flows
   (where it goes, well I just don't know)
There are times in your life
   when you have to learn to let go
   (current of life is so free)
Embrace the experience so you can continue to grow
   (follow the wind to the end of your dreams)
So if your boat rocks, before it docks
you betta still stay in the flow.

Sometimes we gotta listen to that intuition
Break free from the systematic
  ways and habits
Flow like your etheric
and get that leech off your spirit
Like Tina did Ike on Friday night

Sometimes you just need to throw a party
 and celebrate the fact that we're healthy and still here
Time to let your guard down
  find trust in YOURSELF
So you can maintain
 the weight of the world and your wealth

Drifting away....
   (don't you start)
Drifting away....
   (don't, [don't] start [start])
Drifting, drifting, drifting away

At times you gotta just drink water all day
  go and play in sunrays for pay (hey)
Break the rules and define your destiny
  like the India Arie(s) of today (get what I'm saying [Peace Queen])
Time is of the essence
  well not really 'cuz its of the physical
  and could never be a spiritual
So take the time out, and get into the tune
  while me and Eric Ricco make music from the womb


Saturday, September 13, 2008

SL/RL Synthesis Note (19): "Now, Now ALWAYS Now!"

Originally Posted: September 13, 2008

Song of the Moment: "Life" by Havana (lyrics below)

This past week, my SL relationships threw yet another crushing blow to my sense of self. It's funny how life always seems to throw you for a loop just when you think you've got steady footing and have figured this whole thing out. As usual, I had an expectation, it was not met and I felt disappointed, unappreciated, blah blah blah... fill in the blanks... y'all know what I'm talking about.

The irony is that the disappointment I felt around this particular relationship/incident brought more clarity than any single experience I've had since coming to SL...hell in any relationship in RL as well (or maybe it was an insight that finally came to a head).  I think more often than not, I've told myself that my relationships are different in SL than they are in RL (and in some ways I suppose that is true), but the reality is that *I *am the same WHERE EVER I am. Same expectations, disappointments and so on. It has almost never been the PEOPLE who hurt me as much as I have hurt myself. I, after all, control my actions and reactions to these experiences. I finally took a long, hard look at how I've been choosing my life...

I spend an AWFUL lot of time focused on the past and how *this* situation will be just like it (and responding accordingly) .... or focused on the future and being about the business of making things happen the way *I* think they should play out for me to be happy in the situation/relationship (and that always includes an expectation of how people will react). In essence, I've been living my life inside one of three choices: 1) something happened in the past, and if that hadn't happened, I'd be happy now; 2) something will be happening in the future, and if I wait patiently, when it happens, I'll be happy; or 3) something is happening that SHOULDN'T be happening, and if it stops, I can be happy.

So...I'll never be happy .... that is. if I keep thinking this way. Life is NOW...there has never been a time, nor will there ever be, when life is NOT now. It gives new meaning to the saying "the past is a memory, the future a fantasy, but today is a gift, that's why its called the PRESENT."

My life is NOW, your LIFE is NOW....right now as you are READING this you are LIVING/breathing. Stop a moment, look up and see what's around you, listen…what do you hear in the room, what does it smell like? Each passing moment is all we ever have. The check, phone call, gift, past pain doesn't exist in this moment, only in your mind. So when a problem comes up, a situation that doesn't bring you joy the moment you realize this, you have a can do something about it that will make you feel good in it, or do nothing at all. You can make it a problem...or NOT! (smile) He/she is late...and hasn't logged on as planned...right at this moment...what can you do? Think something positive (is the reason), ...or something negative. If there is something else you can do about it, DO IT...otherwise, enjoy THIS moment until you CAN do something.  You're with him/her in chat at the club, he gets quiet all of a sudden...what are you thinking? What can you do about it NOW, not later...not what you should have done yesterday...right now...what will you do? You have some RL deadline to meet, but don't want to log off to tend to it, what do you do NOW? Worry about it?  "Should" on yourself until you feel guilty? or accept you're not ready to tend to it and decide to do something later (or hell, get up and do it!) its ALWAYS up to you... but choose NOW, love NOW, laugh NOW... LIVE...
                                     ++*----* •¸♥ ..NOW!!!.. ♥¸•*----*++

Peace and blessings

"Life" by Havana

Life is passing by

Life is passing by

You can change your life
With each passing moments
So many decisions
No room to rewind
Don't let your life
Pass before your eyes
In just a moment's time
Move on
Some how
Some way
Let others show you the way
They've earned respect
Playing this game of LIFE
Play your cards right
You'll see just how good it can be

Life is passing by
   Don't blink, or close your eyes
   Don't sleep on today,
   'cuz tomorrow’s not guaranteed
(Repeat 3X)

How many days and nights
Have you spent alone and idle
about the past, how it didn't last
Thoughts of those lost loves gone
It seems as if your motivation
Is stuck in yesterday’s confusion
Don't give up
Move on
Do it NOW
So many thoughts
My heart just can't comprehend
Which way do I turn
Which way do I stand
I know
  the world is in my hands
But once again...


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