"Thirst" (a poem)

What is it that I want from him

I question over and over again

I know I’m not the only one

And we agreed “its just for fun”

But this now is more than just play

I fell for him and lost my way

Forgot of what I’m truly made

And watched my inhibitions fade

Not knowing what I truly seek

I got caught up and in too deep

My heart’s desire to be his choice

Although this need I could not voice

I feared that he would turn away

Bound by my flesh, asked him to stay

He learned my needs and met them well

The longing in my chest he’d quell

As long as I could wait my turn

He’s not the first, I’ll never learn

What is it that I want from him

I question over and over again

I thirst for love, hunger for peace

He fills the void, the aching ceased

Then I awake, realize he’s gone

The ache returns, for him I long

I wait in pain for his return

Pray for the peace my heart doth yearn

In comes the echo, “you’re not the only one..

...and you agreed 'its just for fun'”

Then from inside a 

...Still

...Small 

...Voice

Speaks into me “you have a choice!”

My mind now quieted by the Love I seek

Open my heart as it continues to  speak

"You've done this before, haven't you learned

You are gift that should be earned?'

You must be still and you will know"

and in the silence, I let him go

Replaced by a love like no other

My love of Self, not from another

An endless stream to quench my thirst

Constant reminder of who comes first...

   …Be Still and Know I Am…

...and she was warned...a year in 6 minutes or less...