Posted by Acuminous Watanabe on 8:14 PM
Originally appeared in Teleport Magazine (2008) No Longer Published
Acu,I believe I have found my soul mate, thanks to Second Life. J My SL girlfriend lives in another country and I don’t know how else we would have found each other! She and I have been at it non-stop for almost three months and it has been one of the best relationships I think I’ve ever had RL or SL. She and I have complicated situations in real life and enjoy unplugging from all that when we are together in-world. Logging in to see her is truly the highlight of my day. The problem is, Acu, that I spend a lot of time in-world, sometimes 8 to 10 hours a day. This is an improvement because there were times when we first started dating that I was in world 12 or more hours. We haven’t shared RL information and have...
Posted by Acuminous Watanabe on 8:10 PM
Originally appeared in Teleport Magazine (2008) No Longer Published
Acu, I am currently married real life (RL) and my husband is unaware of a relationship I have developed in Second Life (SL). I have been struggling with feelings of guilt around my SL Relationship and it is affecting my mood and social interactions in RL. Although my RL marriage is ok, these feelings I am having confuse me so much. I know I am only supposed to ask one question, but I’m hoping you can help me with a few. Traditional morality aside, what are the harms associated with SL relationships that are secret from RL relationships? If no harm is done to the RL relationship is it a problem? Is it possible for no harm to be done by SL affairs? Is this any difference if there are affairs of the heart,...
Posted by Acuminous Watanabe on 7:59 PM
Originally appeared in Teleport Magazine (2009) No Longer Published
Acu, My SL partner and I have been dating for about a month and things were going really well. His cultural background is different than mine, but I did not discover this until I was head over heels for him. I was surprised at this revelation because I would have never dated him in RL, but have learned that we have SO much in common. Recently, however, he seems distracted and irritable all the time and I am wondering if the honeymoon is over. When we are exploring the grid there are times when he suddenly becomes quiet and on more than one occasion I went to send him an offline message only to realize he was logged on already. This has been the source of much discontent in our relationship and I feel like things are...
Posted by Acuminous Watanabe on 3:04 PM
Originally appeared in Metaverse Messenger Magazine (M2)
Dear Acu,
I am a RL married woman who has been in Second Life for over a year. In that time I have met a MUCH younger, single man who has helped me to see life from a totally new perspective. He lives in another country (which is good or I would have been in big trouble by now) so the time zone difference means I am on really late at night sometimes. When I finally make it to bed, I feel like I’ve been out sleeping around as I try to slip into bed without waking my husband. I feel embarrassed that I am coming to bed so late and hope he doesn’t realize how long I have been awake and online. I know I probably shouldn’t be doing this, but I feel so much love for this young man. I also feel bad because I worry that the time he is spending...
Posted by Acuminous Watanabe on 3:03 PM
Originally appeared in Metaverse Messenger Magazine (M2)
Acu,
I have been in SL for about 9 months now. It seems to me that there is SO much drama around relationships here that I really don’ t understand why I have stayed this long. From my SL friends to my SL boyfriend, everyone has these issues and every time I turn around someone has an attitude, or is leaving SL or whatever. It’s an emotional roller coaster. I feel like the only way to avoid drama is to isolate myself and that really doesn’t make sense since I come to SL to socialize and interact with people. Surely everyone doesn’t have this much drama in their second life. I’m wondering what I am doing wrong to keep finding myself in the middle of conflict, and it wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t affecting my real life. I’ll...
Posted by Acuminous Watanabe on 3:02 PM
Originally appeared in Metaverse Messenger Magazine (M2)
Acu,
I am currently involved in a committed SL partnership that is beginning to break down. Before we got together, he was involved with other women. For that reason we kept the relationship “friendly” although we’d cuddle and kiss from time to time. Over time, my feelings for him began to grow and I felt that I needed him to commit to a monogamous relationship with me, or to move on, and I told him so. He was not ready to settle down at the time, and respected what I felt I needed and we stop talking for some time. Later, we reconnected and soon after he asked me to partner. I was somewhat apprehensive about it because of our history and felt jealous of the relationships he maintained with his ex-girlfriends. Despite this, I accepted...
Posted by Acuminous Watanabe on 2:59 PM
Originally appeared in Metaverse Messenger Magazine(M2)
Hey Acu,
I’m not really looking for advice, I just want to vent. I really don’t get this whole idea of integrating SL with RL and relationships. I mean its Second Life, not eHarmony or Match.com. I keep hearing people talk about how they feel so lost because SL affects their real life, blah-blah-blah. My second life is just that a SECOND (and separate) life. I am not my avatar, they are separate and apart from one another. I have a REAL life and when I come to SL, it’s to live out fantasies and experiment with things I might not be as willing to explore in real life. I could always try these things in real life of course, but I DON’T WANT to. SL is much easier to access and is a lot cheaper to build my dreams in. I guess I am different...
Posted by Acuminous Watanabe on 2:56 PM
Originally appeared in Metaverse Messenger Magazine (M2)
Acu,
I have recently left a long-term relationship that started in SL, but ended in RL. In SL our relationship was wonderful. Our connection was completely unexpected. I entered SL to explore virtual real estate opportunities and he to explore ways to bring his RL business into SL. We enjoyed spending time together exploring and pose ball hoping (wink) Within a few months we were collaborating on more than just a business partnership, but a real life commitment. We started chatting via messenger, then cam-ing and calls via skype. We partnered in SL and held a beautiful wedding ceremony. After 10 months of a wonderfully romantic online union, we decided to move in together RL. He moved from the UK to my apartment on the East Coast....
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