Friday, March 18, 2011

SL/RL Synthesis Note (41): "Fall ...In Love"

Song of the Moment: “Fall In Love With Me” by Earth, Wind & Fire
Lyrics & Youtube Link below

I am crying as I write this note to you, but promise that I am smiling. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU and THANK YOU again for all of you who have contacted me directly, or indirectly with loving sentiments and energy to offer support during my grief.

::pauses to catch her breath again and to allow the feelings to flow::

For the past month, I have been so grief stricken, down on myself, and feeling the pain of love lost. I have been diligently searching my feelings inventory for the script for deleting the pain of love. Despite the constant support of friends and family, I have been so focused on feeling trapped by the closed door in front of me that I’ve all but ignored many open windows around me. I’ve felt scared and afraid to love again, placing distance between me and the opportunity to be healed by everything else offering hope and promise of freedom from my grief.

Last night, I finally remembered a string of previous experiences that matched my current level of distress perfectly. In each case I realized that I loved those people HARD, like I love all people… but the difference was that they walked away from that love. Each of them, I believe, had never experienced such unconditional and genuine love and intense expressions of those feelings, as I tend to provide. For me, LOVE is always the answer.. it is always, always, ALWAYS the answer and so through it all I will love you. I will always love you, although sometimes forgiveness is required to maintain that love.

I have been hiding out, holding myself back, unsure if I can handle loving like that again. It hurts… a lot! ..but I reflected back again and realized that each of those painful experiences allowed me to grow. Each time, each person came back.. and helped me to know that I was a good person, and helped them in some way during our time together. I appreciated how they had helped me too, because I realized that the only motivator for change and growth in ones life is for something to go “wrong” (even if only perceptually so) otherwise, why would we WANT to change course in our lives.

Thank you for helping me to know, through your words and encouragement, that somehow I have touched some of you. I am eternally grateful that in return, so many of you rallied around me to help me to know I am loved reinforcing my belief in interdependence and reciprocal love and connectedness.

I heard the Song of the Moment this morning on my way home from dropping the kids off to school. I have been chanting the refrain “I can pick you up turn your life around, if you fall in love with me…” over and over.  There is also a lyric in the song that says “In love with me, find yourself a part of me… …In love with me help yourself to all of me”

I am in love with you… each of you… falling…

Love is the answer… ALWAYS the answer… I don’t have to be afraid… I can FALL in LOVE with you… and you with me! :D

::/me JUMPS...floats ...and smiles::

Forever and Ever… I love you XO

“Fall In Love With Me” by Earth, Wind & Fire

Listen via Youtube Here!

I can tell you that love
Is too deep to be played on
Down the line, you'd find
Time would reveal who to count on
I'm well inclined to use the lines
That comes from the learning tree
Let the seed that grows, and ages old
Give us our destiny

Baby, you know, I could pick you up
Turn your life around
If you fall in love with me
I would build you up, never let you down
If you fall in love with me

If you're having second thoughts from the past
I can cool you out
I've been there before, right down to the core
I can sing and shout
I can't hold back what I feel
I bring experience
I'll be your rock when Gibraltar falls
Baby, give me a cause

Baby, you know, I could pick you up
Turn your life around
If you fall in love with me
I would build you up, never let you down
If you fall in love with me
Baby, in love with me, find yourself a part of me
Baby, in love with me, help yourself to all of me

I've got your number and I wanna shout
I dig you baby, come and check me out


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