SL/RL Synthesis Note (16) "Believing is SEEING"

Song of the Moment: "Give In" by 4hero (lyrics below)

We recently had a discussion where the focus was "secrets". I chose this topic because I find a lot of the confusion people experience around their SL relationships is either because they have been hurt by learning a secret kept by their partner/spouse; or because they feel shameful of something they have done/participated in.

For more than a year my second life was a secret I guarded faithfully. My RL husband, patient as he is, was as confused as I, as he watched me endure one of the most cathartic experiences of my life.  Even prior to SL, he was always steadfast and reassuring in my quest to "rule the world" encouraging me toward each goal ...always more confident than I that I would claim whatever "prize" I was seeking at the time. Despite my unwillingness to see the potential, his consistency in seeing more in me has been unwavering.

When I found SL, during an especially difficult time in my life,  he allowed me the time and space I requested to delve deeper into this journey to self discovery (although I didn't realize that's what it would become at the time).  Second life became a place to explore my inner most desires in a way RL could not allow. It was a gradual process...this immersion into the darkness....exploring all those things I felt undeserving of... and some things I believed dirty and un-God like in my ignorance. The guilt was like torture on some days, but somewhere within me I felt validated.

We often believe that we are unworthy of our desires, but if you agree with this, and it is how you’ve always been, then its like saying you are a mistake.  We see in ourselves who we BELIEVE we are. Seeing is not believing...believing is SEEING. We also see in others, who *we* believe THEM to be. I feel fortunate that my husband has always seen who I truly am...as *I* walked blindly looking for that INsight.

Relationships move this self-examination process along for us. Our connection or disconnect with others tell us a lot about how we see ourselves. The things we tend to focus on...or ignore, many times are clues to the messages we tell ourselves about who we are.

What have I learned living the secret? That life (first and second) is FREE GAME, and that to discover your magnificence, there must be a part of you that is less than magnificent to chose from. You are who you are for a REASON...and if you are operating in a manner that is loving, compassionate, respectful in your choices and action you will find the inner peace you seek...

Blessings (XOXO),
Acu

[dedicated to my husband ... the love of my first ..and NOW second lives :)) ]

"Give In" by 4hero (feat. Darien Brockington & Phonte of Little Brother)

(Verse)
you used to wake me with a smile on your face
each morning lying next to you.
now we don't talk cause you have nothing to say
so sad wish i could help see you through.

(Chorus)
wishing time would stand still
so you don't feel left behind (left behind)
you never thought you'd find
yourself broken, torn apart

i know they'll be times of rain
those are the days that i want to
give in
ill be your friend through the cloudy days
don't be ashamed i wont let you
give in.

(Verse)
sometimes i wish you could say
all the things you want me to be
but every day that that you cry
is a day that goes by
and your slipping away from me, yeah.

(Chorus)

(Rap Verse)
Hey love I've been meaning to call you.
it seem the stress of life put cracks in your armor,
but you do it because it has to be done
although it seems like the faster you run your destination gets farther.
I wish that i could take away your problems with a drop,
of a dime and say its all good but its not.
your dreams get undermined
accounts get overdrawn
no matter the case girl
i'm waiting with open arms.

(Chorus) X2