Saturday, September 13, 2008

SL/RL Synthesis Note (19): "Now, Now ALWAYS Now!"

Originally Posted: September 13, 2008

Song of the Moment: "Life" by Havana (lyrics below)

This past week, my SL relationships threw yet another crushing blow to my sense of self. It's funny how life always seems to throw you for a loop just when you think you've got steady footing and have figured this whole thing out. As usual, I had an expectation, it was not met and I felt disappointed, unappreciated, blah blah blah... fill in the blanks... y'all know what I'm talking about.

The irony is that the disappointment I felt around this particular relationship/incident brought more clarity than any single experience I've had since coming to SL...hell in any relationship in RL as well (or maybe it was an insight that finally came to a head).  I think more often than not, I've told myself that my relationships are different in SL than they are in RL (and in some ways I suppose that is true), but the reality is that *I *am the same WHERE EVER I am. Same expectations, disappointments and so on. It has almost never been the PEOPLE who hurt me as much as I have hurt myself. I, after all, control my actions and reactions to these experiences. I finally took a long, hard look at how I've been choosing my life...

I spend an AWFUL lot of time focused on the past and how *this* situation will be just like it (and responding accordingly) .... or focused on the future and being about the business of making things happen the way *I* think they should play out for me to be happy in the situation/relationship (and that always includes an expectation of how people will react). In essence, I've been living my life inside one of three choices: 1) something happened in the past, and if that hadn't happened, I'd be happy now; 2) something will be happening in the future, and if I wait patiently, when it happens, I'll be happy; or 3) something is happening that SHOULDN'T be happening, and if it stops, I can be happy.

So...I'll never be happy .... that is. if I keep thinking this way. Life is NOW...there has never been a time, nor will there ever be, when life is NOT now. It gives new meaning to the saying "the past is a memory, the future a fantasy, but today is a gift, that's why its called the PRESENT."

My life is NOW, your LIFE is NOW....right now as you are READING this you are LIVING/breathing. Stop a moment, look up and see what's around you, listen…what do you hear in the room, what does it smell like? Each passing moment is all we ever have. The check, phone call, gift, past pain doesn't exist in this moment, only in your mind. So when a problem comes up, a situation that doesn't bring you joy the moment you realize this, you have a can do something about it that will make you feel good in it, or do nothing at all. You can make it a problem...or NOT! (smile) He/she is late...and hasn't logged on as planned...right at this moment...what can you do? Think something positive (is the reason), ...or something negative. If there is something else you can do about it, DO IT...otherwise, enjoy THIS moment until you CAN do something.  You're with him/her in chat at the club, he gets quiet all of a sudden...what are you thinking? What can you do about it NOW, not later...not what you should have done yesterday...right now...what will you do? You have some RL deadline to meet, but don't want to log off to tend to it, what do you do NOW? Worry about it?  "Should" on yourself until you feel guilty? or accept you're not ready to tend to it and decide to do something later (or hell, get up and do it!) its ALWAYS up to you... but choose NOW, love NOW, laugh NOW... LIVE...
                                     ++*----* •¸♥ ..NOW!!!.. ♥¸•*----*++

Peace and blessings

"Life" by Havana

Life is passing by

Life is passing by

You can change your life
With each passing moments
So many decisions
No room to rewind
Don't let your life
Pass before your eyes
In just a moment's time
Move on
Some how
Some way
Let others show you the way
They've earned respect
Playing this game of LIFE
Play your cards right
You'll see just how good it can be

Life is passing by
   Don't blink, or close your eyes
   Don't sleep on today,
   'cuz tomorrow’s not guaranteed
(Repeat 3X)

How many days and nights
Have you spent alone and idle
about the past, how it didn't last
Thoughts of those lost loves gone
It seems as if your motivation
Is stuck in yesterday’s confusion
Don't give up
Move on
Do it NOW
So many thoughts
My heart just can't comprehend
Which way do I turn
Which way do I stand
I know
  the world is in my hands
But once again...



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