Synthesis Note (37): "Ask"

Song of the Moment: “Ask” by Narissa Bond (lyrics below) Last week was interesting. After a several months of being unmotivated to do much of anything, except sleep and game, I felt a renewed sense of worth early in the week with each thing I marked off my to do list. Prior days were not so great. Second Life is my fantasy land…place of ideals and dreams deferred… and the social interaction and relationships I have here give me such a sense of love and worth. The connections I have with friends, SL family and you (!! [wink]) generally, brings some relief from the pressures of my first life, but last weekend in particular, I could gain no satisfaction. When I’d log off and be reminded of all that was left undone, still demanding my attention, I would become overwhelmed with anxiety and all...

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One Too (a Poem)

I lie here, face wet the pillow tear stained My heart feels so hollow Enfolded with pain So tired of longing I pray for release My thoughts feed the darkness I've no sense of peace My worth again measured by my place in your life Living secondary Brings some comfort from strife When life goes wrong, you come to me I'm always here, I'm always free Always longing, I know not to ask Better than nothing, better than last I must accept my place in line I am not first Neither three nor seven nor nine Second means victory isn't my fate but I will get my turn, so I patiently wait In the silence, my mind begins to wonder if you're even aware of this burden I am under Turning onto my back tears stream down my face I question my value I question this race I question my purpose I question yours...

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Synthesis Note (36): "A Lesson in Humility"

Song of the Moment: “Insane” Tamara Wellons  (lyrics below) A Lesson in Humility Trying to juggle two lives can be a crazy experience. The demands can be overwhelming. In recent months, I have felt more and more like I am going insane. Have you ever feIt that you’re trying to do the best you can, but often feel like it is never enough? I ask myself, that for all I try to be for others, why is life so difficult for ME? I have tried with great effort to search internally for the source of these feelings… to find and fix them, so that I can get on with my life in a happy and productive way. I am realizing that PRIDE, may be the culprit and that my understanding of what it means to be prideful, especially when in relationship, may have been significantly off. I was talking to one of my...

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Synthesis Note (35): "All The Beauty"

Song of the Moment: "All the Beauty" by Donn Once upon a time there a there was a beautiful avatar named (your name here).  She  (or your correct gender) was perfect in the eyes of her maker and was created at the perfect time, in the perfect place with all the tools she would need to fulfill her (second) life purpose. She would bring experience to her maker (in first life) which could not be had without her existence and she would function "as" her creator (in avatar form) in this new world to fulfill this purpose and ultimately allow them both to grow. As she explored this strange world, she was curious and inquisitive, enjoying the beauty and mystery of this place, which seemed made just for her. She then began to encounter other avatars of all colors, shapes and sizes. She...

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"Yesterday I Cried" a poem

Lost in an abyss of Self Inflicted Nonsense Yesterday I cried Reminders of who I Could never be or ever was Consumed my mind Paralyzed my body Ever absent were the ideas of love, hope, proserity Drowned in screaming silence filled with voices of Not, nere, and nevermore The Crying Girl Pierre by Yves Blasco Yesterday I cried Slowly submerging in the Dark shadows Surrendering to painful realization ...though lacking understanding of the truth Blindly seeking Wrapped in the longing Sweet rapture in piece Emerged a knowing that I Am Peace forever more In Love, I Am reborn Today I fly © 2010 Acuminous Watan...

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A Wonderful Life 2010 (Synthesis Note [34])

Welcome to 2010…it’s a wonderful life! Remember that movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)”?!? If for some reason you haven’t, it’s a great holiday movie about an angel who helps a compassionate but despairingly frustrated businessman by showing what life would have been like if he never existed. I was a kid when I first saw it, and although I didn’t understand all the themes at the time, I was attentive enough to have the seed planted that without certain people in my life, it would not be the same, and vice versa. There were many times in 2009 when I questioned my self-value. It was a challenging year! RL demands and financial problems, relationships...

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